Friday, January 28, 2011

CHINATOWN CONNECTION (movie review)

Year: 1988
Starring: Bruce Ly, Lee Majors II, William Ghent, Fitz Houston, Art Comacho, Brinke Stevens
Directed by: Jean-Paul Ouellette
Running time: 96 minutes

Lee Majors II is Warren Houston a LA cop forced to partner with John Lee Chan played by Bruce Ly after Chan's partner is shot in the line of duty.  Houston is one of those classic lone wolf cops who doesn't need a partner, especially one like Chan who doesn't like to use his gun.  Chan trains the "kung fu cops", a group of policemen/woman who are sent to him because they lack discipline and control.  Together Chan and Houston team up to find who is putting poisoned cocaine on the streets of LA.

I was in the the middle of this when my friend walked in and started watching it with me.  He came in during a scene in which Houston (Lee Majors II) is attacked in his apartment by a killer dressed all in black wielding a pair of swords.  Houston is crawling around on the carpet trying to load his pistol as his attacker stands over him swing his swords around hitting crap off his desk and table.  He is basically right in front of him and the guy is swinging side to side and not down.  My friend says, "That is a terrible ninja." to which I replied, "Well, this is a terrible movie, so what do you expect!"

I can forgive a movie if the story is bad, the acting sucks, etc as long as the action is entertaining.  In CHINATOWN CONNECTION the action is just boring, the gun fights are a snore and the fight scenes are just sloppy.  Bruce Ly aka Henry Yu Yung also is the martial art choreographer on the movie.  Henry Yu Yung is a Chinese actor who has had parts in many Hong Kong movies including classics like CHINATOWN KID, THE 36th CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN and THE AVENGING EAGLE.  In CHINATOWN CONNECTION he is dubbed and it is almost as awful as his hair cut.   

So they rename Henry Yu Yung as Bruce Ly so people will associate him with Bruce Lee, but the exploitation doesn't stop there because they've also got Lee Majors II.   Turns out Lee Majors II isn't a rip off of Lee Majors, but Lee Majors actual son.  But wouldn't that make him Lee Majors Jr?  I guess Lee Majors was going for something a little more classy like King Henry VIII by using roman numerals.  I will keep that in mind if I have kids.

Anyway, unless this is on TV and it's free then don't go out of your way to watch it or buy it.  Unfortunately, I already bought it so I could write this review so I'm screwed.  Don't make the same mistake I did.  I want my money back.  I mean you it's pretty sad when in the movie credits the producers thank Royal Crown Cola.  Even in third world countries they can get Coca-Cola!